Sunday, October 25, 2009


I learned something about myself today. I have been angry at someone for the past few weeks about something that I have ALWAYS done. I have always been the kind of person who has a hard time living in the moment. I always want to know what is going to happen in my life, how I will be effected by something, how it's going to work out... I over-analyze rather than just wait it out and live my life in peace.

Someone has made me question a particular part of my life that I treasure. A part of my life that I know I'm going to have to put on the shelf for a while as I serve my mission. Someone has said that it is pointless for me too keep this treasure in my life because it is not going to be there when I'm on my mission, and I should just let go of it now and spare myself the hardship of letting go later on.

Now, the old me would have taken this comment and over-analyzed it and eventually given in, because it would be easier and it would make my "future" more clear. The new me (who I didn't realize existed until today) has been battling this unwanted advice for a few weeks. I have been telling myself that this is what I want "right now." Why should I give it up when it makes me happy, and I don't have to let go until later? Since when did I become so chill? ;)

I realized today that as a member of the church, we constantly need to be focused on the end result, and endure to the end. But that doesn't mean that we have to forget about what is going on right at this moment. In fact we must always remember to keep focusing on what is happening right now in order to be faithful and true. I know that I have several years of life awaiting me, but I know that right now, right now at this moment, I have something that I want. I shouldn't have to let it go until I'm ready.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009


Today was a perfect day. At first I was a little annoyed because, my car is currently unavailable, and I was feeling like a bum, but it got progressively better!

Angela was set apart as a missionary yesterday, so I started out the day by being her pretend mission companion while her mom went to work. It was kind of fun, but we kept forgetting that she wasn't allowed to be alone, so I almost let her walk into the dry cleaners by herself while I waited in the car. Good luck getting used to that Ange! =)We watched "The Errand of Angels"(that sister missionary movie that makes me freak out every time I see the preview!) It was actually really good, and helped me feel a little excited for my future plans!

Then, conveniently enough, the sister missionaries in our ward called and asked if I wanted to come teaching with them in the evening. I've been really flakey with them lately, sad to say, and it happened to be perfect timing, because I didn't have a car, and nowhere important to be, so I was excited to finally tell them that I could go! =) We went and saw a family that is recently coming back to church, and we taught them about tithing. I actually commented several times, something I am always scared to do. I felt really mission-esque and that I was capable of being a missionary as I learn and grow. After that lesson, I felt like I should ask them if they were going to see anyone else, so I did. It turned out that they did have another family to teach. It happened to be a family that my family has known for years, and the mom is active, but her husband and children are not. This woman is a very intelligent and spiritual woman. I felt like she should have been in my place, with all of the things that she taught me. I was able to bear my testimony as we taught her and her husband, and even though he has a very stubborn personality, and probably has no desire to go to church right now, I could see in his eyes that he knew the things we said were true. I could see the light radiating from his wife, and the light radiating from the sister missionaries. I can't wait to shine that light on others.

Today, I learned something about myself. I learned that I'm not the most educated person when it comes to the gospel. I don't know Everything there is to know, nor do I have a lot to offer. But I do have a testimony, that this gospel is the true gospel of Christ. He lived and died for us, and he atoned for our sins. I can't handle everything. What I can handle is up to me, and I will see the opportunities to handle anything that comes my way. What I can't handle will be taken care of by the Lord. He is everything. Heavenly Father knows us all individually, not as a whole. He Knows me, and he knows you. And he loves me and you. And he is waiting for us with open arms.

Saturday, October 10, 2009


That 7o's Show gives amazing advice.
Whoever made brown rice tortillas for the gluten intolerant was sent from heaven!
Sometimes, all you need is a little girl time to bring you joy.
Bridal Showers are awkward, and often dreaded, but I secretly think they're really fun! ;)
Heavenly Father works in mysterious ways. Just when I think I'm doomed, he seems to take that concern and turn it into the very thing that saves me.
I'm pretty sure that Jenny Lewis knows everything there is to know about life.
Living by a green belt has its advantages.
Arcade Fire and my journal have been having secret rendezvous without me.
I don't think I'll ever be able to keep my room perfectly descent until someone can do it for me.
Ireland misses me. I wish I could make it's misery go away.
Too much down time=awful.
Blogging is the essence of life! =D

Thursday, October 8, 2009

New Beginnings

Life is such a silly little thing. I seriously feel like it was yesterday that I walked into Mr. Raider's 4th grade class in my plaid jumper and my leapard print jacket/"funny" hat that I was made fun of for. Angela was my new friend who I fought with all the time over toys and things, and bekah was the cool girl who I hung out with from time to time. Alli went to a different school, but we played from time to time, and then middle school came and we had our tough times *lol*... But little did we know the four of us would become so close. All three of them, even though we've gone through different phases together, have influenced me in one way or another. They've laughed with me, cried with me, shopped with me, looked stupid with me, and all other kinds of things that I am eternally grateful for. They've truly made me who I am today.

Now, Alli is married with a baby, Bekah is running around in Hawaii making an awesome name for herself, and Ange is leaving for a mission in about a week. For a while, I didn't know what I needed to do to make a name for myself. I thought I was destined to stay in Moreno Valley forever. But I have come to the conclusion that I, too, should serve a mission. After about a year of battling the idea, I have decided that I want to serve the Lord and spread his gospel. I know that inspite of all of my feelings of inadequacy, and the fact that I'm terrified to leave home for a year and a half, that Heavenly Father needs me. He has really come through for me and it's about time I do something for him. =) So wish me luck as I prepare myself for this event. I haven't started my papers but I will soon, and I can't wait!